i am a nurse, part two

i really wish i felt like looking for that photo of me at the first nursing job i held, but you will have to do without it. by the time i was writing the other night, i was tired and i forgot to tell you some of the things i wanted to tell you. first off, that "smock" that i was wearing as a student, was one of the UGLIEST things i have ever worn in my life. it was neon pink and heavy polyester. there was not one student that liked it. though i did keep it for years afterward, i finally burned it with the trash. do you know that polyester does not burn very well?
when i was going to nursing school, my husband at the time was not working. he was on unemployment. the first half of my training, he was really good to me and took care of the kids so i could study when i got home. the second half of the training, when i had to do clinicals, he was not so supportive. i had to take a weekend job so that i would have money for gas and lunches. after classes, i would come home to make meals and do household chores, then at night when i tried to study, he would not help with the kids any. therefore i had to help them with their studies and put them to bed. regardless of his efforts to pull me down and set me up for failure, my grades remained above the C average. his mother made him go to my graduation.
in january of 1985, i officially became a Licensed Practical Nurse.
my first position was over an hour from home. i worked there for three months making $5.25 an hour. it was in a nursing home. the reason i accepted the position so far from home is that this was the only facility i could find that would allow me to work before i had taken my boards. (that is the testing you take to earn your license). i worked under the supervision of a RN. my first night of passing medications on my own, i gave a patient the wrong medication. i was ready to throw in the towel and never return to nursing. the nurse i was working with laughed so hard she could barely speak to the doctor to tell him of the medication error. i could not call him as i was crying. she even had the doctor laughing. as you can tell, the medication was nothing that would harm the patient, so at least i had not begun my profession by killing off patients.
my favorite patient at this nursing home was a schizophrenic little lady. probably all of 5 foot tall and maybe weighed 100 pounds. she did not take kindly to other people. paranoid about what every one was doing around her, and would not even speak to the nurses when they spoke to her.
she always wore a dress that hung straight on her, and a sweater. on her feet, she wore white socks and tennis shoes. her short gray hair in a pixie cut. her eyes dark and troubled. she had taken to me. she would follow me around as i passed my medicines, or stand at the desk watching over it as i charted on other patients. i never had a problem out of her, though the other nurses warned me that i would.
i worked the evening shift. one day i arrived at work, and she rushed up to me. you could see that she was frightened. she grasped my arm tightly, telling me "there's something wrong with my feet". i looked down at her feet, and nothing seemed apparent. i asked her if they hurt, and she said no, they didn't. she repeatedly told me there was something wrong with her feet. when i sat her in a chair so that i could examine her feet, i asked her what was wrong with her feet. i am leaning down to remove her shoes and socks, which surprises all other staff members, as this woman lets no one touch her. they could get nothing out of her all day. she waited the whole day for me to arrive at work.
i am removing one of her shoes when she said to me, "they're black". i was not sure what she said, so i asked her "what?" my little lady said again, "they're black, my feet are black. they are dead and they will fall off. i have gangrene in my feet. they are black and they are dead".
as i was beginning to remove a sock, i had to stifle a laugh. her feet were perfectly pink. they were warm and pulses were strong. as i replaced her sock to her foot, i looked up to her and explained to her, "your feet are ok." i am still stifling my laugh as she again tells me, "no they are not ok, they are black." it took some time for me to get her to understand that it was not her feet that was black, that it was her socks.
it was one of the coldest years in illinois that winter. i drove a car that had no heater, and scraped the inside of the window with a piece of hard plastic so that i could see to drive to work. when i had a car with a heater in it, i blew a tire on the way home in nineteen below zero weather, with no spare tire. after i had my license in hand, i went to work closer to home. it was in a smaller nursing home, about 20 miles from home.
i worked the midnight shift, and had my first experience with a patient having a seizure. learned i loved taking care of the patients wounds. encountered my first case of shingles. when my husband at the time told me i still worked too far from home, i quit this position and got my third one within 5 miles of home.
this is the job i held, where i learned to be a nurse. and i want to thank my good friend, patty rowley for this. yes, patty is one of the women who carpooled with me to classes. and patty is the nurse i teamed up with to work midnight shift at a nursing home that was a place to learn in itself.
we had both been nurses for less than a year, but patty had worked as a nursing assistant for several years. therefore being more familiar with the type of work we were doing . patty taught me team work. we had about 100 patients to care for. on a good night, we had 4 nursing assistants to work with us. on a not so good night, well, patty and i became nursing assistants and helped turn and clean patients on rounds, as well as our nursing duties.
this nursing facility took in any type of patient that would come here. we had patients who had feeding tubes inserted through their nose into their stomachs. when they pulled them out, we had to replace them. this was before the time of all the formulas in cans, and we were putting pureed food into these tubes with syringes.
we had patients with ventilators. here we had to insert tracheostomy tubes because the patient would pull it out and toss it across the room. we had to learn to suction the patient through this trach so that he would not drown on his own secretions. we had to learn how to set up the ventilator and keep it going in a power outage. most of all, we had to learn how to reassure this patient that he was not going to die on our shift because he could not breathe properly. on midnight shift, we were the RN. no, we did not have that license, but we had only us. two new nurses learning together.
thank God one nurse was patty.
she was hungry for knowledge. she taught me to find answers. she taught me to fight for my patients to get the care they needed from the doctors. we were half of each other. what one did not know, the other probably did. we completed each other sentences. if we did a procedure together, we were each others hands, not having to tell the other what step to do next.
i was working with patty the night i had my first death. i had just checked on my patient. a woman in a room by herself. respiratory problems. now at the opposite end of the hall, patty called out to me, and i came back to her outside the womans room. patty asked me if i had checked on this woman, and i told her yes i did, and she said to me, "are you sure? she is dead you know".
"what! no she is not dead! i was just in there and she was breathing!"
"well, she must have been taking her last breath, because she is dead".
turning on the light, i went to her bedside. she took one last breath at this time, and then she was gone. that night, i learned to call a family, and tell them that their mom just took a turn for the worse and might not make it, then wait for them to arrive and tell them she passed just before they got there. i learned how to be there for the daughter because she just could not bear to say goodbye to mom by herself. you learn how to make the dead look like they are still alive, only sleeping. you learn that there is life after death, because even though your patient has died, you still have work to do.
we worked together in this nursing home for a couple of years. it seemed much longer than that. we learned so much together. we worked midnights, then evenings. i learned so much because of her. she was there when i got divorced, and she was there when i got married for a second time.
we had many nights of laughter, such as the night she set my one gray hair on fire. i had laid my head to rest on the table. she saw my gray hair, and thought she would do me a favor by burning it off my head, not thinking that the other hairs would catch fire also. luckily, she figured that out quite quickly, and it only sizzled the ends of my hair, but i got even. i have to laugh inside as i remember it. there are these large bandages, that look like old fashioned kotex pads, only wider. they are called a b d pads. they are soaker pads for large wounds. i took the abd pad and placed it on my head, tying it in place with a long piece of gauze, with a bow under my chin like an easter bonnet. i walked around like this the biggest part of the night, with patty laughing and crying at the same time because she felt so bad that she almost burned me up, but found my response so funny.
patty left me to go to california. she worked in a hospital there, and found her own husband. we lost touch over the years, but i will never forget her. i am the nurse that i am because of her.
that is about the first seven years of my nursing career. after that, i went to work at a hospital for 5 or 6 years. bed baths and pill passing. the staff i worked with was cold and non caring. the drive was too much for me, and after falling asleep coming home for the third time, i left there for another nursing home. so many stories, so many tears of joy and sadness. for seven years, i lost grandma too many times.
because i am a nurse, and because i deal with death quite frequently, it made it easier to let my mother go when her time came. i understood that wishing her to stay with us would only cause her more suffering and pain. i understood that as she neared death, she was ready for it. being a nurse, i was able to let her go.
all nurses should work in nursing homes. i don't mean for their entire career. it is too hard for some of us to do that. what i mean is, that all nurses should be required to spend a year or two in a nursing home so that they can learn how to work with love in your heart. how to help a patient die with dignity, and how to let one go. only in a nursing home do you get to feel the love of your patient because they become your family. you learn how to whisper them away when death comes for them. you hold their hand because they have no other family members left to hold their hand.
when you work in a nursing home, when you are having a bad day, "grandma" will hug it away. when you are having a good day, "grandpa" will remind you how quickly it can go bad. you know there is a God. you see miracles happen.
you ask me, if i enjoyed working in the nursing homes so much, why did i leave, why do i now work in a hospital?
unfortunately, because "grandma" died one too many times. my last one i was so attached too, when she passed on, the pain was so great, i found it hard to continue working at the home. only waiting to lose the next one.
in a hospital, we lose patients. yes we do, but we send more of them home.

it has been 25 years since i became a nurse. because of what we call "burn out", i almost quit nursing. instead i took up travel nursing. i remained on staff at my "home" hospital, on a per diem basis. i did not want to burn my bridges behind me, which is a good thing i didn't. right now i am unable to acquire any travel positions, so i work full time at my "home" position.

when you travel nurse, they do things differently in "other parts" of our country. lafayette, louisiana is where i landed my first travel position. i had much difficulty learning to understand the french cajun's speaking, but after i did we did well. i got to meet an alligator almost face to face.

they are a little more laid back in loueeseeana. a very enjoyable place to be. i got to meet alot of nurses from other parts of the country, and after 5 months there i got to move on to miami.

there i worked on the spinal cord unit of the veterans hospital. never think you know it all. my patients were paralyzed from just a tad bit, to partial, to complete. care for them is not what i was taught. it was a total different story. i will not go into detail of what i learned in caring for these people, but what i will tell you is that before miami, my paralyzed patients were not getting proper care. so far from it.

travel nursing has given me the ability to bring further learning/teaching back to my current position. it gave me the ability to show my co-workers how to better care for some of our patients today. how to make it easier to get someone in and out of bed with a lift. how to apply the sling to ensure better comfort for the patient.

i am ready to return to travel nursing. they are just not ready for me. so i stay home.

twenty five years ago, i had no idea i would still be doing this today. twenty five years ago, i could not even look at the needle as i prepared to give my first "shot in the butt".

this is the beginning of nine months in miami. gwen, rolanda, me, donna, kris, i forget, in back in blue is marsha then cathy. i don't remember the names of the others.

i am a nurse.

I Am a Nurse

in this photo, i am in the bottom row third from left. the nurse 5th from left in the second row up, is the reason i am a good nurse. patty rowley, myra collins and me, rode to school together every day. taking turns driving, we studied our butts off in those cars.

just the flick of the wrong key, and a whole story is gone. good thing i didn't have a whole story.

actually, the story still may be gone, because i forgot what it was going to lead into after the line, "i am a nurse". i know i was thinking about my patient and today, but i am not quite sure what it was about. let me start again.

this is me in full white uniform. look at that huge hat

i am a nurse. yes, i know i have already mentioned that somewhere in the beginning. wait, this is still pretty much the beginning. well, no matter i am going to tell you again. i am a nurse.

this is me and my sister daryl on the night of my graduation. we were always having fallings out, but she came to my graduation regardless of any problems we might have been having. and for her to drive that far, in the dark , was because she loved me.

now, i am sure that what has come to your mind are the letters "RN". that would be nice, because there is a much better paycheck that goes with those letters, but my letters are "LPN". i am a much better nurse. when i first became a nurse, people would say that LPN stood for "Low Paid Nurse" and that RN was "Real Nurse." as the years moved on, LPN became "Little Peeon Nurse" and "Let's Play Nurse". finally, i have decided that LPN stands for "Life's Perfect Nurse", because that is what i am. well, maybe not so perfect, but i am a dam good nurse, and i know it. i work hard at being good at what i do.

this is elizabeth and me

go to look for a picture, and lose the train of thought you were following for the story. yes, i am old. what can i say. i left my story to find pictures of me as a nurse. i was able to find my nursing class photo, and some very grainy ones of the graduation. i know that there is one of me at my very first nursing position, but i have moved things about in the house because i was redoing some of the rooms. that photo is most likely in the bottom of that rubbermaid bucket with the miscellaneous photos. though i am not going to dig that photo out, i do have some more recent shots of me, being a nurse.

getting my nursing hat. until graduation, it had a red ribbon on top of a gray ribbon, signifying student nurse. this day, the red ribbon was removed.

we have definitely come a long way. i graduated nursing class in august of 1984. we were the largest lpn class that they had held in that school. the largest graduating lpn class from that school. the class was made up almost entirely of women. we had one man. he did not feel uncomfortable being the only male in such a large room of women. nursing is what he wanted to do, and he did what he had to to get his degree.

from the left, myra collins, me , i don't remember and patty rowley.

as you can tell, it was not all hard work. these two photos were of the students simulating a severe accident. it was probably a plane crash. it was so unorganized, i laid on a gurney for over an hour before i figured out that i had already "had my surgery". no one knew where i was. i was in the surgical hold. i stayed put because that is what i was told to do. such a good student i was. lol.

when i was in the clinicals, the RN's gave the students a hard time. there was not a day that didn't go by without one of them telling me they did not know why i was taking this class, as they were not going to be using LPN's anymore. they were phasing them out. as you can tell, i was not phased out. the RN's on the floor were supposed to supervise the students, and assist as needed, but they sat at the desk while we tried to give proper bed baths or do little tasks. but i will never forget when a RN was told to put a patient on a bed pan, and she didn't even know how!

well, i took too long looking for the photos, so i must go to bed now. i will complete my story another time. the brain will be more awake and functional then maybe?

hugggggggssssssss

Reading, Writing and Pictures

who reads my work? i sometimes wonder that, but i do know that my friend jean reads it. i just wonder does anyone else? my family or other friends who i have supplied the link to, or if strangers even read it, and if they do, what do they get from it?

what i think i wonder about it for, is i want those who read it to actually enjoy what i write. i hid this blog at first. well, not hidden really, i just did not tell anyone about it. i was not going to share. what i was going to do was just write, to satisfy my need to write, and let it set here for "strangers" to find and enjoy. then i wrote the story about the blanket, on the blog connected with this one. i really wanted to share that with my son. originally, it was going to be a whiny blog, about how my son does not seem to be one of the family anymore, but it turned out to be a pretty good story about the blanket he grew up with, and now is inside his son's blanket. so, i had to share. now i cannot whine about my son who moved away and married and never comes home.

I Should Write a Book

people are always telling me i should write a book. those people are usually my patients. my "trapped" audience. they are in the hospital, in the room, with this crazy nurse taking care of them. they make the mistake of asking me a little about myself, and they usually get a whole story of some sort about me. i make them laugh, and i make them cry. and in the end, they always tell me, "you should write i book, i would read it!"

i only wish i had the ability to actually write a book. it is not the same though as telling a one or two person audience a story.

Oh I Want to be in Pictures

as i look about other blogs, they have lots of pictures. it looks so easy to have them in the blog. but when i try to do it, it is a whole other dimension in life! i go to the top of this box that i am typing in, and click on the little icon to add the picture. so far so good. then when the picture comes up, it is at the very top of this box. no where near where i want it placed. then i have to work and finangle it down to the position i want it to be, but i do not think that any of the pictures i have placed in the blog are actually where i wanted them to be.

ok, here is a photo of me from three years ago. this was taken in a restaurant in nebraska after i visited a friend. it was easy enough to place, because i really don't have a spot that i want it to be. but it still was at the top of the page in the first place.

ok now, it was not exactly where i wanted it, and now i am making the attempt to place it correctly, it is not working, so i am leaving it just where it landed. maybe another time.

i have used this picture for other purposes, and people asked me why i looked mad. i thought i looked deep in though myself.

and jean makes videos. one day i will make one of those too, but i am not gonna ride a bike to do it.

well, that is enough for now. take care all

huggsssss

When You Have Death, You Have Ghosts

this evening i went to the wake of a little girl. wait, they don't call it that anymore. they call it visitation now. this little girl, Madison, was 5 years old, and she developed a cancer in the back of her neck. when it was almost healed, the cancer spread to her lungs and wrapped around her little heart, taking her from us very quickly.
her mother works at the hospital with me. she was doing quite well considering her daughter died in her arms 4 nights ago. when i went in to hug her, she grabbed me so tight saying "thank you for coming, this means so much to me", over and over again. i did my best not to cry, because i did not want to make her cry. we both succeeded with but a few tears escaping down our cheeks.
madison is in a much better place now. free of sickness and pain. full of love. though she did not have to die to get that. her home was already full of love.

in my job, i deal with death alot. i am a nurse. for many years, i worked in nursing homes, whispering in the ears of those who were so close, but yet hanging on. just waiting for someone to tell them that all would be ok if they went home. many of them, dying alone, for their family members had already passed on before them.
now i am working in a hospital, and though i still deal with death, it is not as frequent as in the nursing home settings. i work on what is called med surg. we get mostly sick patients; pneumonia, stomach problems, cellulitis (infection in the skin) and when they have nasty, nasty wounds, we get 'em. sometimes we get a surgery, but nothing big. therefore, we are called med surg.
we get to send people home! i mean, home here on earth. it does not necessarily mean that they are well, but we do make people well sometimes before they go home.

There Is a Ghost in My House

and it is being onery.
i can hear music playing somewhere over towards my bedroom. at first, i thought my radio clock had gone off. when i went to check it, the music stopped. there is none coming from outside. i checked that too. now that i am back here by the computer, the music is going again. it sounds like a radio playing. every time i go to find it, it stops.
i do have a ghost in my house. two to be exact, unless i have acquired a new one.
my ghosts are not bad, they are just here. i used to hear one walking around upstairs. he came with the house. i believe it is a he. he has never given me reason to believe elsewise.
the other ghost is my nephew by marriage, randy joe. he died after i moved in here. he was in his early twenties, and after several misdiagnoses, they discovered he had leukemia. way too late to save his life.
when i was home alone, upstairs sewing, he would walk up and down the stairs. i could feel him peeking over the rail at me, like he was giggling. i could feel him wanting me to turn around to catch him playing hide and seek, but he is a ghost, so of course i didn't see him.
my ghosts would only make their presence known to me when i was alone. whenever the others were home, my ghosts most likely went elsewhere. and then i was really alone. my whole family moved out, leaving me to live here by myself.
they didn't just dump me. they grew up and went on their way.
can you say "empty nest syndrome"? i had it so bad. the ex moved out on me, then the kids left me one family at a time. lol. first it was randy, then curtis, then sarah took her two hoodlums and got a place with her "other" person. then mykal and her boyfriend took my bradyn and got a home of their own.
before the last little group of my family had moved out, i started construction on a new bedroom. when my new bedroom was completed, i emptied the living room into my old bedroom, and set my computer desk up where the living room used to be. over in a corner. the living room was now "my office". the center of the floor being empty, the dining area still to one far side like it had always been.
i am not too proud to admit, i am addicted to the computer. though i will say, with out the computer, i don't know where i would be. it was people on the other end of the line who kept me sane. in 50 years, i had never lived alone. never. now i lived in a big house, and my only companion was a dog.
but that is not the story, so let's move on.
during the day, i worked. then i would come home to an empty house, do some chores, then settle down in front of the computer. i never had many lights on. no tv running. and you could hear them. my man walking around upstairs, and randy joe on the stairs. i do not remember them ever coming to the living room before, but one night, i began feeling someone looking over my shoulder as i worked on the computer. of course, no one was there.
at first, buddy the dog, would get under my feet, but i reckon he finally adjusted to my company, because he didn't seem to be bothered by them. so though i was alone, i was not alone.
then i went travel nursing. and hired my carpenter to fix the kitchen and bathroom. then i came home again. i moved my office into my bedroom because the old living room was trashed out due to everything was put into it for the remodel job. it was a total mess, and i had to clean it out.
it took me all summer, but i remodeled the living room myself, tearing out carpet, painting walls and the floor. i returned the living room to it's original place. my "office" in a different corner now, on the dining room side.
my ghosts were gone.
i do not know where they went to. i do not think they liked the "new" living room. no one walking about upstairs. no one looking over my shoulder. it has been quite sometime since i last heard my men.
then, a couple months ago, i set my sewing room back up. it is upstairs. the room where randy joe would come up behind me and peek over the rail, daring me to turn to catch him. and he was there again. i was sewing a dress for willow, and i could feel randy joe giggling over on the stair case, peeking over the rail at me as i worked.
then a few days later, i heard my gentleman, walking about upstairs. he must have been checking out what i had been doing. it is a mess up there. i am sure he does not approve of it. but, i do not see him doing anything to help.
they are not the only ghosts i have had in my home. i had not lived here long, and my mother had become very ill. i came out of my old bedroom, and my father was sitting on my sofa. as clear as day.
my father had been dead for 15 years. or something like that. he was looking towards the bedroom door, sitting in the corner of the sofa. one leg crossed over the other. his arm draped across the back of the sofa. he didn't say anything, or do anything. he was just there, then gone. not long after that day, my mother went to join him.
i am sure they have both been here since. i hear my mother call my name. i find the white tips from muriel cigars laying about. daddy smoked those before he passed. you can smell the chantilly lace sometimes after mom has been here. i know they are only visiting me to make sure i am all right.
it is funny. the music is still playing. it is not loud enough so that i can make out what it is, but it is like someone is teasing me, making it just loud enough so that i know it is there, and when i go over towards the bedroom, it will stop. all will be quiet. the room has been there for over two years now. maybe i have a new ghost? maybe it is Madison adding some youth to my group of admirers?
hugggggsssssssss

Internet Friends

Everyone has a story to tell. whether it be a long story or a short one. it may be horridly boring to others, but then again it may be quite interesting. do't worry, i am not going to tell you my story, lol. At least not yet.

well maybe a bit of one.

internet friends.

if you own a computer, and you are connected to the internet, you have them. we all do. go ahead and deny it if you want, but you are only lying to yourself if you do. because if you are reading this, i automatically become your friend.

haha, i can see you now saying, "well, now i have one". haha.

my internet friends come and go, but a few of them remain intact and pretty strong. a few of them have been through the good and the bad of my life which has happened since i got the internet. some of them left because they thought i was not being truthful with them. haha. their loss. i do not know how to NOT be truthful with people. my life is an open book, and if you don't believe it, well then, that is your problem not mine.

not that i have weird or unbelievable things happen to me. my life is just normal. at least, i think it is, lol.

now, to have an internet friend does not mean you have to contact them each and every day. hound each other with emails and funny jokes, chat online. no, it only means you have met online, and keep contact. i have a "list as long as my arm" of people who i am friends with online. i have met several of the people face to face. so are we now internet friends? or just friends who converse on the internet?

oh cool, i can add photos, and even move the on the page to where i want them, lol. (added line, well, almost to where i want them, lol) this is an image of me (red shirt) and my good friend miss mary. we met on a site called friendfinders. it is a good site to find friends, though i do believe it was meant to be a dating site. miss mary lives in arkasas. i have had the pleasure to meet up with her three times. the first time we met, we decided to go to nebraska to

meet with another internet friend, and for good measure, she dragged her newly aquired internet boyfriend, (which i had assistance in setting up i might add, lol). this photo was taken just yesterday, when she stopped to visit me on her drive to chicago with her now internet husband.

miss mary and mr bruce, her internet found husband. i do want to add, she was not looking for a husband when this one came along. it just happened that they got to meet (because I encouraged miss mary that she should do it). it was long distance for awhile, but that distance quickly closed and they have been man and wife for a couple years now.

miss mary is not the only person from the internet that i have met, she is just the one i have maintained a closer relationship with. i have met people from texas, louisiana, nebraska, tennessee, michigan, georgia, california, washington, montana, idaho, oregon.

wow. i didnt realize i met people from so many states. i think there are a few more, but i cannot remember exactly.

yes, i have many, many internet friends, but i do believe the title reverses once i meet them. they are my "friends i keep contact with on the internet."

huggggggggssssssssssssssss

tommie

i searched me on the internet

did you ever do a search on your own name? sometimes i just get a whim, and do that.
my full first name is tomasina. the story was, my older sister wanted a baby brother named tommy, but they got me instead. funny thing is, is that no one in the family ever called me tommy. i was always tom or tomas. i because tommie in the eighth grade. i was soooooo tired of the kids making fun of my name with anything that rhymed with tomasina.
another part of that name story is that my mother always told me, "i took the o off the name and put an a on it, because that made it feminine". on one of my searches, i found out that "tomasino" is a greek surname. i grew up in chicago, many of my siblings were named after my mothers greek friends, so, whatcha think? yeah, me too.
i found out that in chicago, there was a young woman that designed and produced bridal gowns. how coincidental. i LOVE to sew, but i could never sew that well.
in L.A. california, there is a young woman who sings with a band. not country though. i LOVE to sing, but everyone keeps telling me to keep my day job. roflmao.
and there is another woman, jeana tomasina, who is an actress. ummmm, nope, i can't act.
today i found out the my name is on websites stating that i am a doctor. (one can wish, can't they?) i notified those sites it is not true.
i found my name is in many of my friends postings/blogs. (i am loved!!)
my poetry is posted on many websites. (YAY)
and one of my inscribed books is for sale on Amazon.com. (huh?)
my heart fell when i discovered that. i had tried to get my books onto amazon when i first had them published, but was unsuccessful in doing so, but here was one that i had personally autographed, being sold on amazon. i signed that for THIS person. a personal, handwritten message. and they were selling it. i wanted to cry.

it took me a bit to find the info of where to contact the seller, but i found the email and sent a note.
"could you please tell me who this book was inscribed to? thank you so much "

and she replied almost immediately.
"The inscription is to Josh and it is signed Tommie, who I believe was the author.
Cordially,
J++ B++ Emtiger's books."

i breathed a sigh of relief. my heart felt much better. you see, i give the books to soldiers that i do not know, and this is most likely one of those soldiers. i was so afraid it was one of the mom's i had gifted the book to.

i sent a note back
"thank you
the inscripition is signed
hugggggsssssss armymom tommie
i am her.
my heart sunk a bit when i saw an inscribed book was being sold, online at that. i give the books to all soldiers i meet, and many of the military moms. so i was curious as to who was selling it. as it is "josh", i understand. the book was not meant for young men, it was written for the moms, which, if you have read any of it, you can tell. good luck in your sales. when you do sell it, i have a closet full left, lol.
hugggssss armymom tommie"

then she again replied
"You wrote it -- of course. I should have known. Sorry. Since you give them away, would you prefer that I not sell it?
Best wishes, J"

to which i replied,
"the book is in your possession so it is yours to do with as you wish. God is the one responsible for the book. He must have meant for it to be sold this time. (i have sold a few myself, to people who request it online, non military people, people i don't know) the give aways are to Gold Star Mothers, mothers i meet face to face, soldiers and veterans, persons who are using it for purposes to assist the soldiers/military by sales or putting in gift boxes.
the book you have, as you can see is book two. i started writing the poems when my daughter was in egypt, near afghanistan. i cried at the drop of a hat. then i joined the mothers group. for some reason, i wrote a poem then shared it with this mothers group. the war was all over the television. i worked evenings at the hospital, so it was always on. my only way to cope was to come home after work and write these poems, while the tears dripped off my chin.
when the mothers asked for the book, they supplied me with the photos to put into the book, and in 2004, the first book was published. it arrived on my doorstep one week before mothers day, and each mother had their book in their hands by then.
i had so many photos and many, many more poems, so the second book came about, the one you have, and that book came to me a week before fathers day, 2006.
i will always believe that God chose me to be His vessel to bring these words to the other mothers to help them through such a difficult time in their lives. i tried to sell the books locally, and on the internet. when i did not sell them, i decided Our Lord meant for me to give them away, so i do that. i still sell some, occasionally. when a mother (on the internet) asks for one, i include a second one inscribed to her soldier. it is mostly to help with postage is why i ask for monies.
did i note you are in LA? i think that was on ebay where i got that. i went to the fair in lafayette and gave a bag of the books to soldiers who were there. could be josh was one of them.
please, sell the book because i am sure that is what He meant for you to do with it. that is your profession, is it not? i am finally on amazon.com, lol.
God bless
hugggssssssss
tommie
ps, sorry for the short story here, lol."

actually, i don't like the "that is your profession, is it not?" line. it sounds quite curt. maybe i should write her another note and apologize? she has not returned another email.
well, that is my life on the internet, and one story of how i got there, lol.
hugggggggsssssss to all
tommie

to be an RN or not to be an RN

i have been up since 7:30 this morning. would not be bad except for the fact that i never went to sleep until after 3. there was a phone call from a former co-worker in the travel field. she has a new position in Louisiana, and thought i might be interested in signing with another company.
well, first, as the number was not familiar to me, i thought it might be one of the companies i had already signed with, but it wasn't
second, who the heck is yolanda? not yolanda she says, its ROlanda, from miami (ohhhhhhh) she said, the pregnant one.
third, not every one is awake at 7:30 in the morning on their days off from work.
it is now about 10 am, and i have been at this computer since she woke me up, checking on travel companies and finding out i have already filled out applications for the company she mentioned. so i shot off a couple of emails to previous persons who had emailed me, to keep them aware that i exist and am still looking for a travel position.
this next saturday, i have an appointment with some gentleman about a school. RN to be exact. i am thinking about extending my education, so that more travel positions will be open to me, or, to just make more money for the work i am ALREADY doing.
i have thought about this before, but i cannot take time off to return to school, and i cannot go to class AND work. i am too old. (yes, i heard that. i am too TOO old, just ask my body).
this school had contacted me before about taking classes with them. it is an almost correspondence class, but it is online courses associated with Indiana State Uninversity. i passed it by before because they wanted me to take a MSN (masters) course, which i would be working on until the day i die. they now offer a BSN (bachelors) course, which i might be able to make it through before my 90th birthday. really tempting, as i will most likely be working until then, the way the government is handling things.
the pre-requisites might hold me back on it. i mean, if i have to work 2 years on those, i do not think i will do the nursing course. that will also take 2 years, so there is 4 years of training. well, it is better than 6 years.
of course, the money will also matter. next year, i will have a little more available, and might be able to swing the finances to make payments for classes, but i do not know if i can swing it right now. can only wait and see what this fella is going to offer me.
off to do chores now. huggggssssss

My Beginning Blog

I never write the title of my blog until I have written it. It is much easier to choose one when I know what the blog is about. I chose the name, In My Dreams I Can Write, well, because I can. Whether it be the dreams I dream when I am actually asleep, or my daydreams. I am one of the most fantastic writers that there is. My words tumble from my fingertips onto the blank page of word, or onto some blog, like this one.
It is odd that I find myself starting a whole new blog, away from facebook and myspace. Maybe it is due to that I closed one of my other blog sites. Feeling the loss of one less place to take my little mouse and pointer to, I find myself here, in eblog land.
Take note, I am using capitals in this blog, but in future blogs, you will most likely find no capitals, as I am horrid about using them when I type. I find that it slows me down. Call me lazy, ok?
Off I go now to explore the possibilities of what I can do in this blog site. Oh. I named it My Beginning Blog, for lack of any other name I could think of.
huggss