Ask Me About God

this morning, the new neighbor came over to my house to speak with me. well, he is not actually the neighbor. he is a friend of the person who bought the house, and he is gutting the inside, doing repair work for the new owner.
the new owner is the reverend of the nazarene church down the road from me. (in pana, everything is down the road, or across town, lol) the fella is one of the reverend associate pastors from the church in the town "down the road".
a few days ago, i went over to introduce myself to this young man. just to be a polite new neighbor. that is when i found out they are fixing it up to rent out, but being a pastor, of course we got into God.
he asked me what church i attended. well, my church is not in a building. my church is where ever i am standing talking to people about God. you see, i believe in God, but i guess i don't believe in people.
today, he trotted on over to my home, and told me God has been speaking to his heart. now, i do believe this, because God speaks to me. loudly sometimes, but not usually through another person. He knows i won't listen unless it is from His mouth personally, lol.
this pastor used some words i didn't understand really. i cannot even write what they are because they were above my head and i can't even say them myself. now, he was not talking above me, or around me, he was talking to me. he just knows these words and because i know God, i guess i should know them them too.
ok, now, he told me, God was speaking to him to come over here TODAY. of course, i understand that, am leaving tomorrow. the pastor said, i didn't know why, but He said i had to do it today, so here i am.
now, y'all know i don't have that good of a memory, so i cannot tell you word for word what this fella said, but in general, what he was telling me is that maybe i am supposed to be in church not for myself, but for the others. for the hippocrites, and the falsities. the pastor could tell that i "know" God, and that those people needed me.
yes, i have to laugh. not at knowing God, but, i don't know the Bible. nope. not hardly a word of it. i don't even own a Bible. oh, i know about the birth of Jesus, and the ten commandments. stuff like that, but i could not tell you where to turn to, what chapter or verse, for strength to get through this crisis or that.
i can only tell you, turn to God. give Him your faith. trust Him to pull you through. God fills me with His love and takes me through my life. i am here not for God but because of God.
ok, i had to step back in here after reading the preview because that line before this. God told me that is not true. this is how it is; BECAUSE of God, i am here FOR God.

i was saved when i was 15 years old. back in a time when i attended church in a building. it was a southern baptist church. i loved listening to the pastor up front, preaching his heart out every sunday. actually, he scared me. i was a little girl, and this pastor preached so loud, he yelled. he did not need a microphone. his face would get red and he would sweat. he was exhausted at the end of the sermon. you could tell he put his heart and soul into his preaching.
then i moved.
i attended many different churches in the area i had moved to. their beliefs were not the same as mine. their practices were not the same as mine. their prayers were written on paper. i was swallowed up in hippocrites and other false people. maybe i am wrong, but i cannot be in that crowd. the churches were too full of them. my voice could not be heard and i was invisible there. so, you might say, i took it outside.
i do know that it is in the Bible, "church is where two or more people get together and talk about God".
there is my church. no special building. i carry my church with me.
if you would like to attend my church, come stand outside with me. ride in my van. talk to me in the hall of the hospital or from your bed. speak to me in the grocery store. my church is portable.
i feel a little guilt when i think of what this pastor said. that maybe i am supposed to be there for those people, not for myself, but i know when God wants me in one of those buildings, i will be there. i don't ignore God. maybe God is preparing me for this, that is why this fella came to talk to me today, but it is just not time yet for me to do that.
when God tells me what building to enter to hold my church, i will be there. don't ask me about what the Bible says, because i won't know the answer. ask me about God.