i don't wait well

i called the dr and asked for a helping hand. i cannot make it to next Thursday without something to assist me. he did prescribe me some xanax. it is one of my miracle drugs. i rarely use it, but i have needed it before. it got me out of the mountains when i could not do it.
i find myself looking down at my breast and just wondering sometimes. is there some mean disease growing inside me? or is it just a harmless little weed that needs the surgeon to pull it?
i am doing fairly well for having to play this waiting game. i am not a waiter. even though people tell me that i am a very patient person, i don't believe them because i know myself. i am the type of person that wants things done yesterday. i am just capable of hiding that in me.
i do not want my breast to be cut open and a small chunk of it removed. that is what i dwell on. not if i have cancer or not. yes, i know i am strange. i have done the crying before, many years ago when there was something odd and i had to go for a mri test. same breast. didn't have cancer then.
i don't want my family to have to take me to this surgery and wait for me. i just want to take myself, but i am sure i will be glad for someone to be there when the day gets here. i will sleep on the way home because i will still be groggy from the sedative.
then i will wait again.
i will wait until probably Monday when the results should be in. why is it that they cannot test it right there and give me an answer? i am sure that someone knows i am not a person who waits well.