just take em all

it was all i could do not to cry.
tonight, my daughter brought me something from one of her friends that is a breast cancer survivor. i guess she had to tell someone because she requested the day off to be able to go with me for my biopsy.
there is a silver breacelet that has the word "hope" on it. and a worry stone that contains an angel. the same worry stone that she worried to pieces when she was going through treatment, and has worried it since then too.
God gives you what you need, and just the other day i was thinking that i needed a worry stone.
i have to worry for another week. the test is on thursday, but i will not know the results until next monday.
i imagine pains that are probably not really there. first it hurts on one side, then it hurts on the other. sometimes right in the middle. i do not know where the abnormalty is, so of course i imagine that each painful spot is a place where the cancer has taken over. well, not really imagine, just wonder.
i also picture a big wound on my breast where he cuts me to take the mini whatevers out. this cluster of stuff hanging around in my breast. i know it is only going to be a smal cut really, but my brain keeps imagining a big gaping wound. then a gruesome scar.
is it normal not to worry that it might be cancer? or am i really worried about it and in denial?
why don't we just forget the biopsy and do a breast augmentation?? take em all away. i have too much anyways, and i hate wearing bras. cut em all teh way off and i will never have to wear a bra or worry about the breast cancer. good idea??